When “Equal” Isn’t Fair: A Pre-Christmas Reflection on Modern Inheritance

Inherit Team
Dec 22, 2025
2 min read

As families come together over the holidays, many parents quietly revisit a familiar question:

Should I divide my estate equally… even if my children’s lives are no longer equal?

A recent story illustrates this perfectly. A father planned to leave his estate in three equal shares to his adult children. His wife disagreed — not out of favouritism, but because their children’s circumstances had diverged dramatically:

One son is thriving in tech with a home and investments
One daughter is in a lower-paid caring profession in an expensive city
Another daughter is struggling with health issues, childcare pressures and bills

On paper, equal looked fair. In reality, the mother felt it wasn’t.

⚖️ The Modern Dilemma: Equal Shares vs. Real-Life Inequality

This conversation is happening in more households than ever. Parents want to be fair, but fairness now means more than dividing numbers evenly:

Housing costs differ wildly between siblings
Careers don’t unfold at the same pace
Health and caregiving responsibilities impact financial security
Some children simply need more help than others

For some families, equality feels safest. For others, equitable feels more compassionate. Both come from love.

💡 What We’re Seeing at Inherit Australia

More parents are embracing thoughtful estate planning that reflects the real world their children live in. Common approaches include:

🔸 Equal shares for simplicity

🔸 Needs-based adjustments to support those struggling

🔸 Accounting for past gifts (degrees, home deposits, business loans)

🔸 Using trusts

for vulnerable beneficiaries

🔸 Mixing approaches to strike a fair balance.

There is no single “right” formula — but there is a right conversation.

🎙 The Most Important Lesson: Don’t Wait

Estate planning doesn’t break families. Surprises do.

At Inherit Australia, we see that early, open discussions prevent resentment, manage expectations, and give parents confidence that their decisions reflect both fairness and love.

This Christmas, consider starting the conversation — gently, thoughtfully, and long before documents are finalised.